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Pages: First date. Need advices. Dos and don'ts. [1]
Author Topic: First date. Need advices. Dos and don'ts.
domenick

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2011-01-25 22-17-13

First date. Need advices. Dos and don'ts. First of all, thank you guys for good advices and suggestions in the past. I am going out with a woman on Monday for lunch for the first time after months of emailings. We have been busy laterly. Man... I haven't done this since the divorce 2 years ago. And please excuse me if I sound like an idiot to you. Should I buy her flowers or gift for first date? Any dos and don'ts? It is just for lunch because of the babysisting in the evening. We are both single parents. Should I /email her the next day about the date? When I should ask her out on a real date (dinner, movie) if this goes well? Thanks.
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schlater

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Posts: 7

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2011-01-26 8-56-40-

no flowers or gifts on a first date. and lunch is a casual matter. just meet her and get to know her. if you're hitting it off, the conversation should turn naturally to "I wanna catch the new movie/show/whatever next week--wanna join me?" and ing the next day is often nice.
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  • steuerwald

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    2011-01-26 10-10-34

    thanks. That's what I thought. Flower or gift on first date seem too much.
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    warmuth

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    2011-01-26 19-01-35

    She might be allergic to flowers, or not like the ones you pick, etc. And gifts... not on the first date.
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    pravin

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    2011-01-27 1-24-09-

    phyiscal contact? I don't mean kiss. But is a hug too much? Or just hand shake?
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    bernhardt

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    2011-01-27 5-42-24-

    you're overthinking this. do what seems comfortable and what she seems to invite at the time.
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  • granquist

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    2011-01-27 9-06-19-

    see.... I told you I was nervous about this.
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    hosick

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    2011-01-27 15-10-18

    OK to be nervous. NOT to preprogram everything. would you like it if the woman had everything all figured out in advance of meeting you? I don't think so. go with the flow.
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  • lamphere

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    2011-01-27 19-14-25

    It's ok to be nervous, just don't let it overwhelm you.
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    delrosso

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    2011-01-27 23-38-57

    Depends on the connection If it's to greet her, I think you might not need to do anything. If you guys have a good date and have a connection, a brief hug is okay. Depends. I think do as you feel and you will be fine. Sometimes, if anything, the rules are more confusing than helpful. Go with the flow.
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    kneale

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    2011-01-28 2-27-54-

    a hug but not a kiss
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    fernicola

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    2011-02-06 19-36-35

    no flowers or gifts on first date please Definately no flowers or gifts on the first date. Just be casual and relaxed and enjoy a light, brief lunch. Don't overstay the time. If you agree to a 45 min lunch, make sure to honor time. If the connection is good, a really short brief phone is okay. Keep it brief. Don't do it by email. Hopefully she answers the phone when you . If you get her answering machine, keep it short and simple. Don't multiple times hoping she answers. once. If you don't get her, leave a msg. I wish you the very best on your lunch date! I hope you have a good connection with her.
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  • tokarz

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    2011-03-16 7-49-45-

    you should do what you want for her in a very lighthearted spirit. You don't want to come off as creepy stalkerish and you don't want to come across as a sentimental romantic if you aren't either. :O) Just be yourself and relax.
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    shorey

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    2011-07-11 2-45-40-

    I only had first date who arrived w/flowers he was a blind date I barely knew, and he hadn't taken any trouble to find out whether I even liked flowers, let alone which ones. so he brought me a kind I detest. not a smart move.
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  • depalma

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    2011-12-22 3-39-54-

    Yep, flowers are too easy to screw up Some people are allergic. Some hate certain types. Some just don't like them in general. Doing that kind of stuff for a first date screams desperation to me. like they're trying TOO hard.
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  • mcmenamin

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    2012-09-01 2-16-29-

    desperation is right and there's nothing quite like having a bouquet of detested yellow roses to deal with while you're trying to make pleasant first-date conversation with the guy who misguidedly brought them. what do you do with them? let them take up significant room on the table next to your dinner plate, or put them on the floor, which is a diss?
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  • panfil

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    2013-02-27 19-04-51

    Oh jeez hopefully they guy wouldn't be clueless enough to bring them unless he was picking you up. I hadguy give me a rose on a first date. He waited until after the date was over and he walked me to my car. Then he got it out of his car and gave it to me. On another first date that was going really well, the guy and I went for a walk after dinner and ended up sitting in DuPont Circle talking. A guy came up selling roses and when my date asked how much the salesman said he doesn't set prices. He lets the buyer decide how much a gift for his date should be worth. My date and I just cracked up at that The guy probably makes a fortune from poor schmucks who are dating women who get turned on by that kind of thing. We sent him on his way and I thanked my date for NOT buying me a rose.
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    ruland

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    2013-12-30 9-19-33-

    nope, he was just that clueless. I came by subway and we met at this tiny Thai place in Greenpoint and he handed me the flowers immediately on meeting. they were a total pain in the ass.
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  • Daveen

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    2014-03-11 1-20-42-

    i think flowers are nice just a small thing, but I think flowers are sweet. nothing over the top. and stop worrying!
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  • gussman

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    2014-05-11 3-34-12-

    I agree, I have had many xst dates where the guy brought me a single rose, and I thought it was very sweet. Although, I agree that any other type of gift is a little much for a xst date.
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